Discovering that your significant other was cheating on you, can make you feel hurt, and you feel terrible for being ignorant, even when you noticed the signs. Such feelings are understandable. Cheating happens for various reasons, including revenge, loneliness, curiosity, or falling out of love.
Nonetheless, as a victim, you shouldn’t feel that it’s your fault for what your partner has done because they could have chosen to communicate. It’s not your fault and realizing this is the first step to dealing with the catastrophe.
So, after discovering your partner cheated, how are you planning on surviving infidelity? Do you want to resolve the issue or end the relationship? These are the questions you shouldn’t answer in a rush.
How to Survive After Infidelity?
1. Don’t ask unnecessary questions
You’ll mostly be tempted to ask questions. Indeed, your partner should answer the questions truthfully. But, avoid asking your partner to compare you and their cheating partner. The answer will hurt you more because first, if you’re better, why they did leave, and secondly if you’re not the one they choose, it will hurt you.
2. Talk openly
Surviving infidelity starts with not deluding yourself or magnifying the problem without communicating. If you have kids and you want to save them the trouble, don’t assume or act like both you and your partner are okay. It’s unhealthy to sit across someone without knowing what to expect from them. Therefore, ensure you talk about the affair.
3. Don’t make hasty decisions
After discovering your partner cheated, you might be filled with mixed feelings. At times you’ll feel anger, resentment, and other emotions, and you can’t afford to make decisions under the influence of such emotions. Therefore, take your time before deciding whether to continue the relationship or end it.
4. Avoid numbing the feeling with drugs or alcohol
Understandably, you must be feeling vulnerable, hurt, and hateful. If you’re consistently thinking that your partner is still cheating, it can be traumatizing. Nonetheless, avoid using alcohol as your shield. Confront the feelings by allowing yourself to feel and start doing productive things that will help you forget the hurt.
5. Embrace the feeling
Discovering infidelity from your partner isn’t a situation you would have anticipated. Let yourself come to terms with the fact and emotions that follow. Seek the help of a qualified therapist who has dealt with infidelity cases before.
If you cheated on your partner, avoid asking them to get over it. It will be equivalent to running over their wounds again.
6. Rebuild respect
When cheated on, you’ll feel a lack of respect towards your partner. However, surviving infidelity will require mutual respect. It will be challenging at first, but when you realize your marriage is more significant than their cheating, you’ll work things out eventually. Once respect is gained, then the trust factor comes in.
No matter how many times you’ve been cheated on, the feeling of hurt is always bitter, but you should know that people recover. Once you start caring for yourself, you’ll realize you’re worth more and your partner shouldn’t have cheated. Moreover, you should take steps to reclaim self-love after infidelity. For better help, see a therapist.